Happiness

TIME ran an opinion column awhile back about happiness and parenting. It referred to studies that showed people with kids were less happy. This led me to ask two questions:

1) What is happiness, exactly?
2) How do you measure it?

I can't answer these questions. Happiness is a feeling, a state of contentedness, not exact or quantifiable. I would like to see the study referenced, as it may answer these questions -- but the author of the opinion did not say what study, or by whom it was conducted.

Well, he opined in his medium, I will ope in mine.

When the founders of this nation declared independence, they declared that they held to some truths. They declared that the truths were self-evident, they needed no argument or proof, they were fundamental. One of these self-evident truths is the unalienable Right of the pursuit of Happiness.["that all men are ... endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”]

We are most certainly exercising this right if the discrepancy in compensation for educators and entertainers is any indicator. We are fascinated with happiness. We talk about it all the time. Why do you “____”? It makes me happy. If you watch friends you know that the only reason for a relationship is the happiness it brings to those involved. We conduct studies and write opinion columns about how children detract from it.

The conclusion of the article said something like: Isn't it great that we have kids and love them anyway, even though they make us less happy?

Maybe he should have said: How selfish are we?

Our children are an incredible gift as well as a weighty responsibility. My own bring me tremendous happiness.

Here is what I am trying to say:

A marriage is hard. You enter a binding relationship with someone who thinks about things from their own completely different, independent perspective. There is a certain amount of give-and-take as you give yourself to it but the rewards are innumerable. Reciprocated love brings great joy.

Pornography would be easier. It strips away all the hard give-and-take stuff leaving only lust. It seems like an easy way, an immediate happiness fix. But it leaves those that wander that path empty, devoid of true human relationship, of love.

Raising children is hard. You have to give up much of yourself. I think what we want is happiness-porn. Kids that show up when we need someone to love us, then go away so we can do what we really want to do. Something that induces the feeling without the work. I think that is a pitiable, empty life.  ¶ 8:30 PM