No Callback

It has been three weeks since my wheel of fortune moment in the spotlight. They have not asked me to come for further auditions. So I guess they don't want me.

I will have to buy a minivan the traditional way. Work hard, and save money. Bummer.  ¶ 8:45 AM 2 feedback

  Lack of Posting

It has been awhile since I have posted -- I am sorry. I have been quite busy of late. It has to do with sales & marketing selling a product before it has been developed. So, they sit back and collect commission while we work overtime trying to get the thing ready to ship.  ¶ 9:37 AM 1 feedback

  Bad Link

If any of you clicked on Mom's Musings before today, I apologize. The link was incorrectly written and it took you to some weirdo’s site.

It is fixed now, it takes you to the wonderful Mrs. Bunches site. There you will find a kind, Christian lady who writes about her life. Not the weird ramblings of a fool.  ¶ 11:25 AM 1 feedback

  I am lazy

After writing that last post about the minivan and wanting a radio that works, I realized that I had never pulled the radio out of our current car and checked out it's wiring. Well I did it later that day. It was a verifiable rats nest back there. I rewired the power distribution and now the radio works fine. Imagine if I had done that on the day after I got the thing instead of waiting for months. We could have had tunes for a long time now.

I wish I wasn't so lazy.  ¶ 6:18 PM 3 feedback

  Minivan

We have two kids now. We want more. So we are going to need a minivan someday. And right now Dodge has a pretty good deal.

But we decided not to take advantage of it. There are two reasons.

1. Going into debt should always be a source of slow and careful consideration. Dealerships want you to make a rapid decision -- to be a little off-balance. We decided that a payment at this time in our lives would really strain our finances.
   
   
2. We don't absolutely need a minivan right now, the whole family can fit in what we have. It is tight, especially with all the cargo (stroller, pack n' play, etc.) that accompanies small children. We were not really even thinking about buying one until next winter. But the Dodge deal enticed us, and we went to the lot and looked.

And we realized how nice it would be to have space for everyone, no little kicks into my back, a radio/CD player that actually works, an engine and drive-train with less than 176000 miles (our lowest-mileage car, the other has 206000) and just the overall appeal of a new nice ride.

But we walked away from the lot, away from the allure of the thing, the song of the siren, and back into the land of cold, clear logic. This isn't a necessity. It is a want. We have been blessed with what we have.

We can make it work. And we will.  ¶ 9:25 AM 3 feedback

  Wheel...of...Fortune!
[cue theme muzak]

As you may well be aware, my wife is possibly a contestant on Jeopardy.
We found out about the auditions because we watch Jeopardy (I know that there is supposed to be an ! after the word Jeopardy, but I refuse to do it) pretty regularly. We also watch Wheel of Fortune.

A couple of weeks ago we were watching when Pat and Vanna announced that there would be Wheel tryouts held in Lincoln City, Oregon on July 8th and 9th. We looked at each other, and it was decided.

That Saturday, the 8th I was halfway to Lincoln City when the rear passenger brake started to make a funny (by which I mean loud, people staring, grinding sort of) noise. This was in Salem. I pulled into the Safeway parking lot and checked it out. Sure enough, the rotor showed definite signs of abuse.

So I turned around and headed for my parents' house. Once there I removed my tire, reassured that no permanent damage was done I headed to Napafor parts. I spent the rest of the afternoon replacing all four brakes.

Well, the next day, Jen and I decided to head to Lincoln City again. This time we made it all the way. The tryouts were held at the Chinook Winds Casino. The line to get in came out the front, wrapped around the side and proceeded toward the beach.

I told Jen that I didn't want to stand in any stupid long line like that. She said something like, don't be an idiot, we drove a long way. So, I left her with the kiddos and I stood in line.

Three large men got in line just behind me. Because the first thing I look at when I see someone is shoes/feet I noticed that one of them was wearing pink Pumas. They were mostly gray, but with definite pink trim. They were women's shoes. I gradually noticed that he was wearing a girlish watch, gaudy necklace, a purse, and sunglasses with a rhinestone heart in the lower left-hand corner of the lens.

This guy is a big, greasy fairy, I thought. The other two guys were not so flaming, but I heard them checking out some guy, and talking about a "cute" football star. I am pretty sure they were all gay. We stood in line together for about 2 hours and we talked about random stuff. They were enjoyable guys; their conversation made the wait bearable.

One more note about the line. I have a tremendously little bladder. I had to pee when I got in line. There was no way in heck I was going to get out to relieve myself. So, I held it. The entire time. For three or four hours. Yay me.

After waiting in line outside, we were allowed to go inside where we got to -- wait in line some more!

After that wait we were let in to this huge room. Marked fire capacity was 920. There were some empty seats, but not many. I bet there were at least 800 people in the group.

The actual audition went like this. Five names were drawn at random from a big golden drum. Those five people played a speed-up round (the round played after Pat gives the ol' wheel it's final spin). Those five people won a prize. They also got to show as much enthusiasm as possible, which was the most important thing, because that is what they were looking for.

There are three auditions of this same size (~800) each day. The audition lasted for about an hour. They tried to get through as many groups of five as they could. They got through six groups in during the hour I was there. That means 30 people out of 800 got to audition. Roughly a 7.5% chance of having your name called.

The third from the last group's fourth name was my own.

I jumped up and down screaming wahoo all the while. I gave the queens high fives and headed for the stage.

On stage the contestants participate in a short one-on-one with Marty, the fake-Pat. He asks your name, occupation and interests/hobbies. The interest question is where you are supposed to be all enthusiastic. I had noticed that most people had talked about their love of the outdoors. Wanting to be different and noticeable I emphasized my geeky side. I said that I enjoyed doing anything -- so long as it was indoors. Then I looked at the audience and said, in my best possible Gollum:"because the sun, she burns ussss." The crowd busted up.

Then we played the speed-up round. I totally should have guessed the puzzle, but I was too nervous, my mind was blank. The guy after me got it. As soon as it wasn't my turn anymore, I so knew it. LEMONADE STAND. Well, I knew I had to recover for not winning so I grabbed the winner in a bear hug, after we high fived. I know, out of character, but I want to get on the show and win some change. We need a minivan.

My Prize
  ¶ 9:36 PM 6 feedback

  Happiness

TIME ran an opinion column awhile back about happiness and parenting. It referred to studies that showed people with kids were less happy. This led me to ask two questions:

1) What is happiness, exactly?
2) How do you measure it?

I can't answer these questions. Happiness is a feeling, a state of contentedness, not exact or quantifiable. I would like to see the study referenced, as it may answer these questions -- but the author of the opinion did not say what study, or by whom it was conducted.

Well, he opined in his medium, I will ope in mine.

When the founders of this nation declared independence, they declared that they held to some truths. They declared that the truths were self-evident, they needed no argument or proof, they were fundamental. One of these self-evident truths is the unalienable Right of the pursuit of Happiness.["that all men are ... endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”]

We are most certainly exercising this right if the discrepancy in compensation for educators and entertainers is any indicator. We are fascinated with happiness. We talk about it all the time. Why do you “____”? It makes me happy. If you watch friends you know that the only reason for a relationship is the happiness it brings to those involved. We conduct studies and write opinion columns about how children detract from it.

The conclusion of the article said something like: Isn't it great that we have kids and love them anyway, even though they make us less happy?

Maybe he should have said: How selfish are we?

Our children are an incredible gift as well as a weighty responsibility. My own bring me tremendous happiness.

Here is what I am trying to say:

A marriage is hard. You enter a binding relationship with someone who thinks about things from their own completely different, independent perspective. There is a certain amount of give-and-take as you give yourself to it but the rewards are innumerable. Reciprocated love brings great joy.

Pornography would be easier. It strips away all the hard give-and-take stuff leaving only lust. It seems like an easy way, an immediate happiness fix. But it leaves those that wander that path empty, devoid of true human relationship, of love.

Raising children is hard. You have to give up much of yourself. I think what we want is happiness-porn. Kids that show up when we need someone to love us, then go away so we can do what we really want to do. Something that induces the feeling without the work. I think that is a pitiable, empty life.  ¶ 8:30 PM 2 feedback